The big news story this week is how the Vice President of the United States, the Secretary of Defense, and other high-level national security officials accidentally included a member of the press in a group text about our plans to bomb another country. (I never write about politics, and don’t worry, this blog isn’t going to focus on politics. I realize that half of the country thinks the opening line of this blog exaggerates the situation. Meanwhile, the other half believes I am downplaying it. Please bear with me; this blog will discuss a topic that’s more relatable than bombing a country that few of us can find on a map.) My first reaction to hearing this story was, “Whoops, wrong guy; I thought that was someone else when I added him to the group. The same goes for the people who responded. Nobody in the conversation checked to ensure that everybody present belonged there.
Who can’t relate to this situation?
It happens all the time. (Again, I recognize that in this situation, the stakes are higher than usual. If you continue to hold this perspective, you should stop reading. To gain anything from this reading, you need to think beyond the specific story at hand.)
I can’t count the number of times I have sent a message to the wrong person. Sometimes, it results in awkward consequences. I’m sure you know what I’m talking about. You reply to a text, having forgotten the last thread you were in, was a different person or group. The results are often embarrassing.
If you’re lucky, all you’ve done is confuse the mistaken recipient. But sometimes, it’s a full-on ‘foot-in-mouth’ moment, one I hope I never see again. Or at least sends you into full damage control, with you wondering to yourself, ‘How am I going to get myself out of this unfortunate situation I’ve put myself in?’
Steve Jobs didn’t need to invent the iPhone for our society to start these situations. They happened to me long before 2007. Who among us hasn’t said something we wish we could take back after learning a little more information?
You know cat people, they all… Oh, you have a cat?
I think she’s a bit quirky. I can’t trust her. Oh, she’s your sister?
After exchanges like this, most of us haven’t changed our opinion on cat people or crazy sisters. We wish we hadn’t said that particular thing at that particular moment.
It is what makes our core value of treating others the way we want to be treated hard to do. People sincerely want to treat others graciously, but to get to know people better and make friends, you have to be transparent. When we are transparent, people see inside us. It isn’t always pretty.
I realize that improving in this area of life starts with not talking behind people’s backs. I think I am pretty good at avoiding that. I could also elect to reveal less about myself and my ideas. The downside is that it keeps me closed off from other people. If I do that, I risk being lonely. I haven’t found a solution to this riddle yet. I will likely spend the rest of my life looking for it. In the meantime, I will sincerely continue to try to treat others the way I want to be treated.
