There is an old saying that goes, “Different strokes for different folks.” I tried to find the origin of the saying and came up empty. Since I’m in my 50s, I remember the TV show Diff’rent Strokes. It was pretty popular in the ’70s. The entertainment app IMDb describes it as “the misadventures of a wealthy Park Avenue millionaire, Phillip Drummond, his teenage daughter Kimberly, and the housekeeper Edna Garrett, who adopted the two pre-teenage sons of their late African American housekeeper from Harlem.” Nearly all the humor came from the youngest son, Arnold, being disrespectful, so I didn’t care for it.
I’ll admit, it feels better when people agree with you. I like it when I see something that makes me feel like the world is approving of my actions.
I’m sure you can relate. You buy something that is a new brand to you, and a few days later, you see the brand on someone else. It makes you think you’re cool because someone else has affirmed your life choice.
At times, we find ourselves strongly recommending something to someone—telling people they, too, should drive a particular brand of car or try some new kitchen utensil we find handy. Often, I have to pause and ask myself why I care so much about how another person cuts their pineapple or makes their smoothie. Am I trying to improve their life or justify my life choice?
Sure, I understand the other person is clearly my inferior because they’re cutting a pineapple with a regular knife and not one purchased at the Dole Plantation. But if they don’t come around, they may still be okay.
Of course, the opposite is also true. I don’t need to assume that the person trying to persuade me to buy an e-bike sees themselves as superior but rather genuinely believes their advice will make me happier. They’re simply trying to offer a well-meaning tip.
Additionally, some of this advice is good-natured teasing, which makes it a little more enjoyable. I don’t honestly believe that Hydro Flask is better than Yeti, and anyone who buys a Yeti isn’t a fool. But I do like to give Yeti owners a hard time and call them rednecks without a clue. (This doesn’t hold for owners of Ford trucks; I do think less of them. But I’m willing to befriend them.)
A life where we all take things personally isn’t enjoyable. If you don’t like my choice of vacuums, please feel free to make fun of it. I won’t be offended; the things I own aren’t part of me.
The same holds true for the sports teams I root for. I am independent from the Vikings, Tar Heels, and Red Sox. Okay, maybe I’m not, but I should be.
(This doesn’t hold true for my clothes. What I wear is a matter of style. If you think I dress poorly, find a nice way to get the message across.)
I love Major League Baseball, and I even watch it on TV multiple times a week. Likely, you don’t.
I think volleyball is boring. It doesn’t matter how good the local team is; I won’t be watching. But if you try to watch it in front of me, I’ll watch it with you.
Naturally, some differences among people are related to sin or ethical concerns. We shouldn’t tolerate people whose “different strokes” break the law or challenge our religious beliefs, but 99% of our disagreements are about style. So, we shouldn’t be offended by Ford drivers or volleyball fans. Nor should we make it our life’s goal to get everyone to buy our favorite brand of toothpaste or fast-food chicken sandwich. I need enough people to do it so the company can stay in business.
It’s okay if we are different folks with different strokes. As long as we continue to treat others the way we want to be treated, we should all be able to get along with one another.
Who knows, maybe you thought it was funny every time Arnold said, “Whatcha talkin’ ’bout, Willis?”
