I was at a meeting today, and the subject of banana cream pie came up. A coworker asked the group, “Who likes banana cream pie?” Several hands went up, including mine. Then the coworker said, “You have to like a good banana cream pie. The meringue is delicious.”
Are you kidding me? Meringue? I immediately regretted raising my hand. I have never eaten a banana cream pie with meringue on it. Gross.
It made me think about being careful what you agree to with somebody, because you might not be talking about the same thing.
It isn’t always easy for people to speak up and clarify, making sure everyone is on the same page.
About 30 years ago, during raise time, another coworker got the list of people he was supervising and went about setting everyone’s new rate. We made up a rate sheet to take to people, asking them to agree in writing to their new rates. After getting all the sheets signed and collected, he sent them to the payroll department.
As the payroll department processed the forms, they came back to me and said I needed to go back to Benny and check one of the rates he had sent in. The paperwork signed by the supervisor and coworker moved the person’s pay from $7.00/hour to $7.50/hour, but the coworker’s current rate was $7.75. The person had signed off on a pay decrease.
Turns out, when Benny told the person they were getting a $.50 raise, they were happy with a 7% increase. The person either didn’t know what they were paid or was afraid to tell their supervisor they were wrong.
Not agreeing on which banana cream pie recipe to use is not really a big deal. We can move on from that miscue without incident. But losing out on a raise is a huge deal.
Treating others the way you want to be treated is a core value of ours. It seems straightforward. But from time to time, people misunderstand, and our behavior can come across as odd to others. We think we are helping them, but we are really serving them meringue or cutting their pay.
Getting on the same page often requires asking an extra question or restating something you already said. The best technique anyone ever gave me on this subject was to ask a question. In most cases, the best question has a yes-or-no answer. It also involves a specific reply that removes doubt.
If the person said their favorite was blue, you ask if they meant navy or royal blue.
Last week, I spoke in Oklahoma and told them I was from another red state, Nebraska. They cheered. I followed up, “but our version of red is better.” They booed. Only after my clarification were we on the same page. They just didn’t like the page I put us on.
